Reborn on the Fourth of July

Okay, I'm not the most patriotic of people. I can honestly say that the times I would feel patriotic were during the Olympics (summer/winter), travelling abroad, and during times of war/combat. Those events help me realize that I'm part of a larger nation that is pretty darn good considering the alternative. Anyway, as a talk radio junkie and political watchdog, I've been holding my breath as I watch our elected officials decide if they want to hand our great nation to the illegal immigrants. I'm not anti-immigration, but I'm against people not following the rules and breaking the law. I have a problem with people breaking the law and getting rewarded because a group of bleeding heart liberals are feeling guilty for being born on the "right" side of the border.

As I watched the Senate struggling to make the call and listened to the talking heads debate the bottomline, I felt tense. Then suddenly I was able to exhale . The Senate killed a bill that would've done more harm than good, and I was grateful. As I pumped my fist into the air, I felt the tiny hands of a patriot pulling at my heartstrings. Yes, we're at a time of war and that inner patriot has made her appearance on a regular basis, but this time, she made herself known because...well, she was reborn on the Fourth of July. As we celebrate the birth of our great nation, let's keep in mind what the lovely lady standing watch on the east coast stands for. Yes, give us your poor and downtrodden, but let us all remember that this is a nation of laws. We the people run this nation and for that we need to protect it.

Father's Day

For the past 20 years it seems that fathers have been getting a bad rep in the media. A man who stays to raise his children looks to be an oddity in this day and age according to the media. If you listen and look closely, you may actually see that the media seems to glorify the deadbeat dad. I know these males do exist, but as I enjoyed a nice father's day lunch with my husband, father, and brother, I felt sad for what the media is doing to men. If a stereotype keeps getting exposure, people will start to believe the hype. As a woman of color, I sometimes feel self-conscious of the fact that I have children and yes,...I am married to their father. I feel self-conscious because the media has painted a stereotypical picture that sticks so well in the short term media of American society. So I feel compelled to display a snapshot that isn't "what you may be thinking".

So I want to wish all the fathers a belated happy father's day. I know many of you are working hard, trying to keep your families together, and doing the right thing. I know that some of you fathers want to be better fathers if only the babies' momma would open the door for you to connect with your children. Some women treat you like a sperm donor and don't realize the harm they are inflicting on their children. I feel your pain and I want to say your intentions are good.

As for the deadbeat dads who are content with knowing they have fatherless children roaming the earth, I want to say I hope you wake up and stop being selfish.

Isaiah Washington is Lucky!

I was once a fan of that load called Grey's Anatomy. Season 3 was horrible. The writers decided to turn a good show into a cautionary tale for women. Then Shonda Rimes wanted to "burn it all down" and destroy the characters and their stories. Personally, I think the writers painted themselves into a corner and wanted a "do over" for season 4. Well, if they want a do over, they can have it without me watching it. I would rather watch paint dry.

After IW made his unfortunate comment about TR Knight and went toe to toe with McDreamy, I worried for Washington's future on the show. It's hard to find good, strong, black male role models on television. Either a black man is a buffoon, a sidekick, or an ignorant gangsta on present day television. Besides Mehki Pheifer, IW played a positive role. Dr. Preston Burke was a sensitive yet talented surgeon who was top in his field. He had potential for positive storylines that could've driven Grey's Anatomy to lofty heights. You would think the black women who birthed the brainchild called Grey's Anatomy would've taken that ball and kicked it through the uprights, but they didn't. The story lines for Burke fell into a mundane love story which was interesting and moving, but no where near the mileage they could've gotten out of the actor and his character.

Anyway, after IW called TR Knight a faggot, the whole politically correct world wailed and lamented over the injustice. They were verbally hanging IW on the tree of righteousness and demanding his job. You should've read the posts of nervous PC women wringing their hands in dismay. The world of Grey's became two camps that could not co-exist. Initially, ABC was willing to stand behind IW, but I guess after Imus talked about nappy headed hoes, they felt they needed to remove IW. Maybe ABC fired IW as a way of getting back at Sharpton and his self-righteous intolerance.

Well, at the end of the day, Washington should consider himself lucky. GA is a sinking ship. The ratings are going down, the fans are angry, and the writers are patting themselves too hard on the back for nothing. When he said he is mad as hell and not taking it anymore, I tip my hat to him. He was forced to kiss the collective ass of gays and lesbians. He even checked into a mental health facility to "figure it all out" and get help. He was made to do everything but cut his wrists with a rusty blade on national television for his blunder. Then he lost his job. Well, good for him. It's best to be remembered for being on a show when it was good rather than going down with the rotted ship.

Springtime With Paris

What the hell is wrong with the news media? Everytime I ponder that question, my eyes start to bleed. First of all, I'm neither a fan or hater of Miss Paris Hilton. I'm bewildered by her popularity, but as far as the price of gas is concerned, I can't care less. Anyway, the news media has deemed her legal problems to be headline news. First she's in jail. Then she's out of jail. Now she's in again. How does this effect me? Is there a secret hit-list against blonde women dead or alive being circulated? When I say hit-list, I mean a list that puts these insignificant women in a top ten spot on the hit parade of so-called news.

Paris created her own hell. If she wasn't such an attention junkie and exploited herself with her ridiculous antics, no one would care where she spent her time. But Miss Hilton put herself on the frontlines and now she's paying a humiliating price for it. I hope Lindsey Lohan, Nicole Ritchie, and Britney Spears are watching this media circus with dread for their own future. I hope all the little girls and women with little girls' mentality are watching this modern day Cautionary Tale and taking notes. It's not cute to drink and drive. It's not "hot" to ignore the law. It's definitely not "in" to play ignorance and expect the legal system to slap your wrist with a wink and smile.

Sadly, if Paris Hilton wasn't Paris Hilton, she would be sitting in her comfy house right now with her ankle bracelet doing the rest of her time. I'm sure Paris Hilton wished she wasn't Paris Hilton as she gets checked into the jail for the second time.

Illegal Immigrants

Can someone tell me why we have laws? I wish someone would explain to me why we have laws that people break and the federal government want to give them a pass. They call it a Worker's Program, I call it Amnesty. While my toddler has to take off his shoes before he boards a plane and I have to sample the breastmilk I will feed my infant, an ambitious person from south of the border can wander into this country and get rewarded because they are "willing to take the jobs Americans don't want". We are supposed to be in a time of war. I heard there was this "war on terrorism" going on and we need to "get the bad guys", but our borders are opened wider than the Grand Canyon.

I'm so sick and tired having to breach a language barrier to order a corn dog at the local fast food restaurant. Sometimes I have to dust off my functional spanish to communicate in public. Now after the May 1 chaos at MacArthur Park, LAPD officers are losing their jobs or getting demoted because of illegal immigrants and their supporters. So who are we going to get to replace our officers?

The American people need to wake up and smell the coffee. We're losing our country from right under our feet. We have become a nation of politically correct, guilt filled, pansies. Pretty soon, Americans will become the minority in our own country!

Nappy Headed Ho..Hold It!

Hmmm! I didn't know Don Imus existed until a week ago when his off-the-cuff comment about the Rutgers' female basketball team looked like some "nappy headed ho's". Okay, as a black woman, I found the comment to be insulting. One radio trio asked their black, female producer what she found to be the most offensive about the comment. Surprisingly, she said "nappy headed" was the most offensive part of the comment. What a sad day for black people when we're more offended by the word "nappy" rather than the derogatory "ho" aka "whore". As a people, it is no secret that the coarse, curly hair that adorns our head in various stages of curl and coarseness is considered nappy. Don't let those Dark n' Lovely commercials fool you in believing that you have the "good hair". Don't let your belief that you are part this and that lead you to believe you are better than the rest and your hair isn't nappy. Any hair that is not falling out of your hair is "good hair". It makes me sick to see people like Al Sharpton with his tired, processed hair wag his fat finger at a silly old man who was probably thinking he was channelling the hip hop scene with his comment.

Speaking about Al Sharpton. I'm so tired of this pimp daddy looking bore running around saying he is speaking for me. I don't recall the election where he was elected by a decisive majority to speak for "us" black folks. And then there is Jesse Jackson who makes me crazy with his bizarre sense of justice. Just because he marched with MLK does not make him MLK. He loves to throw around the threat of boycott to garner a bit of attention from the fearful, liberal white media. Both Sharpton and Jackson only care about themselves and their agendas. When real racial injustices are occurring, these two buffoons are no where to be found. When young black men are killing each other, degrading their women, and making their homes in prisons, Sharpton and Jackson are strangely silent. When a half naked Nubian queen is objectified in a video with lecherous boys treating her like a "nappy headed ho", Sharpton and Jackson are deathly quiet. When the true issues of our race rise to the top like cream, Sharpton and Jackson are mute. But when they see an opportunity to get on the national stage arise, they are right there for the photo op.

Don Imus was fired because of what he said. I know of one so-called talk talent who held a whole hour of his show several years ago on why he would never hire a black man or woman because he believed their education to be inferior. That so-called talk talent still has a job. His comments were offensive and inflamatory, but Al and Jesse didn't do a thing. I guess they didn't hear it or the stage wasn't big enough to bother with it.

Getting Older

I just celebrated my 39th birthday with as little fanfare as possible. In the past I have been told that I get morbid and depressed around this fateful day. I have to admit that I do get quite moody near my birthday because I usually have a laundry list of goals I hadn't accomplished attached to a certain age.

When I turned 21, I sat in my father's chair and cried my eyes out because I was supposed to have written the great American novel, gotten married, and started a family. Looking back, my goals were a tad bit unrealistic considering I was in college trying to figure out who I was. I know that sounds glib, but it's true. If anyone at the age of 21 tells you that they know who they are and what their doing, they are disillusioned. The percentage of people who defy this theory is very small. I've known people who have gotten married at 21 to later try to gnaw off their wedding bands years later with a crazed look of horror on their face. They look like they have awaken from a dream to discover that they really are falling off a cliff. Unfortunately many of these people have children they introduced into their self made hell who suffer. The suffering of these children only get realized on a therapist couch years later.

The age of 25 is not too far from 21, but the mental growth is great if you were paying attention. At 25 I was paying attention and I nursed my annual mourning like a newborn baby. I was old enough to realize I still had some lessons to learn. I was getting to know myself and found that I was young and dumb. That was a cocktail for the wisdom I'll imbibe when I turned 3o. Mind you, my list was still long and ambitious, but I had an attitude that time was running out. Biological clocks were chiming and "everyone" was getting married. I felt the need to grab the first wanker that stumbled in my path, marry him, and multiply. BIG MISTAKE!!! The percentage of women who take that desperate leap before turning 30 may be quite high. I don't have the data to prove the number to be high, but I have the life stories of women who got scared and desperate toward their late 20's.

Now another milestone is 30. Now by the age of 30, I was divorced, childless, and wonderfully free. At the age of 30, I felt like I have awakened from a dull, aimless journey called the 20's. My depression on this birthday stemmed from the fact that I was divorced and still unpublished. The whole "having children" vibe had gone out the window because I was "old" now. So I decided to take life a minute at a time. I savored every opportunity and started living. With every passing year, I would get the birthday blues, but after the tears and Mexican beer, I was good. After a year of living aimlessly, I decided to be proactive. I looked at my laundry list and decided to be more aggressive in making "it" happen.

At the age of 39, I have addressed my laundry list. As my birthday month marched on, for the first time I did not get moody. There are still some items that need to be addressed, but the most important items have been addressed and I'm fine with that. Now I wonder what 40 holds for me.

Writer's Block

I have many ideas floating through my mind. I have started several novels and short stories, but none of them are near completion. There are so many stories I want to tell, but I can't get myself past first gear. My favorite quote says it all: Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. John Lennon sang that in the song Beautiful Boy on the Double Fantasy album. When he sang those words, a chord was struck inside me that has been reverberating for over 20 years. I am busy making other plans while life is rushing forward.

The other night I was watching the Academy Awards for the first time in a very long time. I watched it because I wanted to see Jennifer Hudson and Eddie Murphy win their awards. Well, I'm glad Jennifer won hers. Eddie was robbed!!!

Okay, I digress.

I was watching the awards show and I was struck by how Hollywood depends on writers. They did a montage on writing and writers that made me wish I had taped the show. Martin Scorsese commented on that The Departed was the first film he directed that had a plot. Hollywood depends on writers although they give the highest regards to the actors and directors.

So I thought about my desires and remembered how Brokeback Mountain was a short story, Ordinary People was a first attempt by a housewife, and Harry Potter made a lesser known writer a household name. I thought about my daydream of sitting on Oprah's couch explaining the unique complexities of my novel to an awestruck audience. I still daydream about sitting on Oprah's couch, but now I include the couches of all Tyra, Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, etc.. I also wonder what kind of dress I would wear to the Academy Awards and how I could squeeze a lifetime of words in 45 seconds.

What Happened to Retail?

When I started working at the tender age of 16, I was groomed to work with the public. My smock had to be clean and pressed while my clothes needed to be presentable. Being a reformed Catholic-school girl, I knew walking into work looking like Madonna in the Borderline video was not acceptable. Did I mention that I was 16? Okay, keep that number in mind.

I had a male friend named Mark who was romancing the thug life. He smoked the happy leaf, drank the beloved "8 Ball", and spent his days off chasing women and hanging out with gang members. He made Tupac look like a schoolboy. Mark was 20, living at home with his momma, and getting around the best way he can. What made Mark unique was his ability to leave all his gangsta crap outside the automatic doors. No one could tell that the friendly, helpful young man standing before them would spend evenings at afterhours clubs partying with Bloods and Crips.

So in the 80's a 16 year old kid and a 20 year old romancer of the thug life, functioned in the world of retail like professionals. Let's fast forward this tape to over 20 years later. I can't believe what I've seen in the world of retail. Today I was in Target buying a few things. The guy who rang me up must've been about 20. He was hoping to get through his transaction with me without speaking. I guess he didn't get the handbook on retail etiquette. I remember a time when I had a migraine and I had to force myself to greet customers and be friendly. I forced myself because I wanted to be professional. The young people today take the attitude that they don't have to do a thing.

One day I had a guy deliberately not speak to me when I was speaking to him. He remained quiet until he detected that I was going to go street on him for being disrespectful. Another guy called himself helping me while smacking and popping bubblegum. He must've been 18. When I commented on his manners, he shrugged and popped some more. I see guys wearing pants 3 sizes too big hanging off their butts pushing carts in the parking lot. I wonder how they can do their job without tripping over their cuffs. I was in a store the other day where the guy who served us looked like he rolled out of bed, threw on his smock, and probably showed his hair the comb instead of using it. Many young guys are wearing 5 carat cubic zirconia in their ears, sporting huge gold-on-the-rope chains around their necks, and displaying odd piercings. At my favorite coffee shop, the guy who makes the best latte has so many piercings that I wonder if he fears lightening. Seriously, I guess the young men who work retail feel smothered by uniforms and professionalism, so they need to let everyone who encounters them know their true identity. I guess Superman needs to show the "S" on his chest 24/7.

Now let's talk about the girls. Yes, I called them girls for a reason. I know that some stores ask their employees to look trendy, but does trendy mean looking like a stripper? Some girls wear pants so tight you could see their ovaries. Sometimes their tops are cut so low that I wonder if they get chronic chest colds. One girl had to tell me about her baby's daddy while I waited for her to ring up my things. Several girls want to hold conversations about their personal drama with each other while helping customers. I had an experience that blew my mind not too long ago. This young girl must've been about 20 was ringing up my purchases. She had to comment on almost everything that was purchased. She wondered where I had picked up certain items which gave me pause. If she worked in the store, wouldn't she had known where things were? But that wasn't the mind blowing part. What got me was how she began complaining to a male employee about his texting habits. Apparently he wasn't texting her as often as she would like. She begged him to text her or she would stop talking to him. Now I am a firm believer in not fishing off the company's pier for many reasons. This lack of professionalism is one of the big reasons. She may be the one who would go to work dressed like Rambo looking for the guy who forgot to text her "good night".

What happened to professionalism in retail? What happened to customer service?

Mail Call Woes

Yesterday I received two packages. One package is from a Spring Gift Exchange swap I'm participating in. The woman, who is obviously a smoker, sent me a great collection of paper and embellishments. She also made this amazing acrylic book. I mentioned the smoker part because as I open the box, the smell of smoke filters through the air. It tarnishes the whole effect of what she gave because in the back of my mind I'm imagining a cigarette dangling from a pair of painted lips, ashes dropping to the floor, and eyes squinting through the smoke. I'm also thinking how the smell of her smoke from her house is in my house. Which is ruder? Me bitching about the smell on a gift or her sending me remnants of her cancer stick to my home? Hmmmm!

Seriously, her gift I opened up and enjoyed. I'm not ungrateful, I'm just a born fuss. If something does not fit my universal code of law, then it deserves to be bitch-slapped by my words. Enough said.

Now the second box I received was my order from Stampin' Up. I'm a SU demonstrator who is lazy about selling to others. In my world of stamping, I'm a hobby demonstrator. Translation: I spend an obscene amount of money on stuff I will hoard and sell a marginal amount of stuff to my friends. I didn't realize how excited I could be seeing the UPS man until I became a demonstrator. Anyway, back to this box. I spent a modest $50 dollars on 3 items. I got a 4th item free which according to the laws of business, nothing is free.

I'm in the dying throes of being a demonstrator. I would've stuck this gig out a little longer if I had an upline who gave a damn. She is supposed to support me. All she did was give me some helpful tips in the beginning and then took off to her world where I guess she figures an occassional email and a drop-off of swap rejects is her way of supporting me. I asked this lovely lady if she could help me when I was planning a big event. She said she would, but she never did. How does that grab you? It grabbed me by the neck of annoyance. If I was really someone who needed her help, I would've been out of luck. Lucky for me I can do for myself.

Anyway, my demonstrator likes to send these emails that sounds like someone on speed. Do you know the type of person who puts about 5 exclamation points after a word and punctuates their attempts at being clever and funny with happy faces? See if this looks familiar:

Hi!!!! I haven't heard from you is so long!!! How is everything? Let's get together and pick our nose for old times sake. :-) Take care!!!

Okay, are you done dryheaving over that mess? Well, she sends these nauseating emails and I would respond in a pretty regular way of corresponding with people. Does she respond to me? No. I guess by the time my email reached her, she was coming down from her bipolar high. Who knows. For the sake of not beating this issue into the ground anymore, I made the decision to let my demonstratorship die because my sales help her and I'm not too keen on hitting up my friends for sales. That is rather distasteful to me. So I have made my last personal purchase. If someone wants to buy something, I will be more than willing to help them out, but I'm not going to go out of my way to do it.

Who Cares???

Britney Spears shaves her head and Anna Nichole Smith's body is deomposing. In the midst of a bombings, death, and terror, these two stories start off the local news down here in sunny Southern California. I sat in stunned silence as I watched so-called journalists spoonfeed us tortured blonde pablum. When the real news began about 7 minutes into the newscast, I was ready to raid the pantry for some comfort food. Then the artistic graphic with the title Battling for Iraq graced the screen and the scary blonde asian newscaster got "serious" as she reported the bombings in Northern Baghdad and the children recuperating in the hospital. Did the media get so bored with "the war" that they decided we needed to escape to a world where spoiled celebrities with questionable actions take center stage? Are we perceived as that shallow?

When I hear stories about Spears and Smith, I feel for the children. Both of these women saw fit to procreate and that worries me. What worries me is that the children become tabloid fodder in this atmosphere of right-wing family values. The mothers are shoved into our living rooms every day for us to ridicule and shun, and the children inherit the shame before they are old enough to walk. But no one mentions that. There isn't an ounce of sympathy for a 5 month old infant who has lost her mother and is basically fatherless until the very public battle for this billion dollar baby plays out. This poor little girl's memories of her mother will be the media tape we get to see everyday for entertainment. Spears checks into rehab after shaving her head. My first thought isn't on her new look. I'm wondering who is watching her little boys. Hopefully someone who is a motherfigure. These same boys are going to grow up and know that their mother flashed the world her "womanhood". Do you think they are going to treat the women in their lives with respect?

My aunt says these are the ending times. Actually, for those of you out of the loop, she's talking about the Second Coming. I really can't argue with her on her beliefs. All I can say is that I'm sick and tired of the Spears and Smith drama. I'm tired of turning on the news and getting tabloid trash. If I want to read all the juicy details of a celebrity's life, I know where to get my tabloids.

Well, that was my rant for the day. This blog is basically about my random thoughts and my art. Inkwell represents the ink from the news and the ink I put on a rubber stamp. I know it sounds weird, but it's true!